The Adventure Begins

The Adventure Begins

How I got here, I will never really know. What I know for sure is that without the help my friends and my family, I'd still be back in San Diego trying to catch a plane that had left long ago...

My first 5 days...

 

We are all doing O.K. Nick is perhaps happiest at the moment. He is enjoying work and his new role and at this point, he seems to have a synergy going with the academic administration. Additionally, he seems to like his new colleagues and they seem to like him. His scientific work is going well and so in general, all is well.

Harry, I feel is going through the hormonal ups and downs of being a teenager. He likes school and seems to have friends, but he spends as much time as he possibly can in his room. He emerges from his cave to grab some food and then slithers back in there. Do you remember "Thing" from the Addams Family? I can only envision Thing-Harry grabbing the toast that I've left for him on the dining room table and ferrying it into his lair. He assures me that he is not depressed or unhappy, but he is clear that he wants to return to Parker for his junior year. I suspect that we may have a different conversation at the end of the year.

He does not like our apartment which is relatively small and sterile. Classic faculty housing. Because we are on the campus, we are not in the most exciting part of Singapore. It's pretty - lots of green and we have a view of the China Sea although Singapore has a big refinery industry so can see the refineries across the shore. Never the less, there are boats and water and it is a much preferred view than staring into a  high rise.

I think I could get used to the apartment if I could make it more of a home. At the moment it is so sterile as to be depressing. I'm not sure if it would be more appealing if it were painted (select walls) something other than stark white. Also, it needs some art work and I'm not sure what that is going to be yet. It think since it is a modern (circa '70s) apartment it needs to be abstract and modern and colorful. I think some spiffing will make a big difference. Perhaps even some plants. I have to remind myself that I've only been here a very short time - less than a week and that patience is a virtue. A virtue that has often eluded me.

As we settle in, we will explore other neighborhoods and see if it is worth it to try and move to something a bit bigger. We may find that we really like it here and the price is right.

I've not really explored - I've basically been acclimating to the heat and humidity and I wanted to be here for Harry. Harry is on break this week and has had no interest in leaving the apartment. It's been fine since it's given me permission to ease into a new time and nurse my jet lag.

Yesterday evening, Nick and I met with a group of his colleagues, sales people and embassy workers - all in some aspect of science at an historic WWII bar. It reminds me of photos of Hawaii during that period of time. Tin roof, open with a mix of English (think brown gravy and fried potatoes) and Chinese food. The bar has stayed in the Lim family for generations. When the daughter who now owns it married, her husband changed his name to "Lim". It was an interesting expat experience - balmy night air, ciders and beer and fried potatoes with HP sauce. Interesting discussions about development and marketing of phage antibiotics (Did you know that Russia /USSR doesn't use antibiotic therapy much opting for phage/fage therapy?), locating, monitoring disease outbreaks in the context of bio-weaponry in Asia, instant field diagnostics for TB. It was fascinating and I wondered where you were since this was a series of discussions that I think you would have enjoyed. The convergence of the DOD, Singapore government, NUS, private biotechs is really eye-opening.

Upon returning home, I was introduced to a Yale-NUS ethno-musicologist and her delightful son, Sam. Sam is a sophomore and attends SAS. I'm hoping that a friendship develops between he and Harry and the parents.

 

The Beginning of week #2

So, today is a rainy, sub-tropical day. Drizzly rain, some lighting, little thunder. Nothing like the thunder and lighting that we experienced last week when Harry and I were returning home and we weren't exactly sure if we had been "near miss" targets. Harry returned to school and rugby practice this week. It is the first day that I am officially on my own and not having much to do is slightly anxiety producing. I'm aware that if I fret too much over this, I will suddenly find myself with too much to do and not all of it fun. Ironically, I got an email from Depak and Oprah inviting me to participate in a 21 day meditation experience. I jumped at the chance and as yesterday marked "day 1" and I was encouraged by Oprah, Depak set the stage with a meditation that focused on the mantra so hum (not to be confused with ho-hum)  "I Am" and thus the meditation began with "who am I"? Curiously apt since who am I in this new country, in this new part of the world where I am almost completely anonymous? Perhaps Day 2 will enlighten me.

 

Last week, I was finally able to drag Harry out of his room. After failing to persuade him to fly to Thailand ($128.00) and go on a three day elephant conservation safari (see ElephantHill.com) and luxury tent camp in a national park rainforrest, I had to insist that we at least see something. After a bit of a blow up, he assented and we decided to go to the Singapore Discovery Centre. This is a interactive museum of sorts, way out in the hinter lands of Singapore dedicated to educating Singaporeans (mainly teens)  about Singaporean values and culture and encourage innovation for Singapore's future. It's actually done quite well and the youthful tour guides are engaging, well-trained and interesting. Our tour included a bus ride through a Singporean military training institute. Harry and I participated in target practice with modified military pistols (mandatory national service for 18 year old males). Our tour guide tried to see if Harry had a penchant for service life. After that tour and our foray with firearms, we were handed over to a young woman who told us of Lee Kuan Yew's tears after winning Singaporean independence and she asked us to explore why he was crying and his subsequent challenge that a country with no natural resources could succeed. There are several games illustrating this. We were introduced to the concept of diversity here as well as some words of Sing-lish and Malay. Food is a very important element of Singaporean culture - I knew that there was diversity of choice, but I did not realize how important it is, access and consumption, is to the culture. Everywhere one looks, someone is eating. Food stands stay open all night. Our guide mentioned that it was not uncommon for her to go out with her friends at 2 or 3 am to eat. I think that the basic need for sustenance is one of the needs Lee Kuan Yew has exploited to drive people for self sufficiency and so everyone eats, snacks, eats.

 

Nick took me to our local Wet Market and I was a little put off by the smell. Loads of different fish, crustaceans, alive or dead. Once I acclimate a little more, I think I'll get more enjoyment out of it. Right now, I need to see those animals behind glass. There are lots of fruits and vegetables, but in my opinion, California is the apex for fresh produce in both quality and price. There is also a section for Halal meats  - lamb, chicken. Maybe a little beef. Pork has it's own section and meals that are purchased in a hawker center (food court) are designated as halal or non-halal. The pungent smell of Durian is everywhere and takes a little getting used to - even in the supermarkets.

 

The three of us went to a movie - Thor. The cost per ticket $7.00. Not bad. One selects seats beforehand and since I asked about the amount of aircon, I was told that if I "enjoyed" a light snack beforehand, my body temperature would rise and I would not be bothered by the air con. Half right. The theater offers two experience - regular and deluxe, Cinepolis type with private lounge, red carpet and special seats. We chose the regular experience. I was struck by the pre-show ads. The movie trailers were few - perhaps two at most and there were a couple of ads for household goods. But, what caught my attention were two social media pieces. Social in the strictest sense of the word. One was an urban Kung-foo throw down between two Asian teens on a roof top. One kid had a glove ala Michael Jackson. When it appeared that he had vanquished the other kid and was donning the glove and said something about evil taking over the world, the other kid popped up, revived and Crouching Tiger style denounced the resurgence of evil and pledged his allegiance to Singapore, his home... The second ad on the surface looked to be promoting soap, or face cream or something. It started with a lovely young woman admiring herself in a mirror and fretting over which shoes to wear with her pretty dress. In the background, a man (boyfriend, husband, father?) is calling her to leave. She continues to try on shoes. A caption flashes which reads "There are over 129,000 women living in poverty in Singapore who would like to have this problem..." Caught my attention!

 

We purchased our first piece of furniture... One step to making the apartment a home. We purchased an antique Mongolian side board from a Chinese woman at a warehouse. She had diamond rings on every finger, and told us that our apartment 08-08 (8th floor, apt 8) is very lucky. Nick said that he had heard that as I am sure his admin who snagged if for us informed him. I suspect it is a great coup to have this apartment.  On delivery, it was discovered that one of the doors sticks and she says that "Uncle" meaning her father, will come to repair it. Transactions like these are done in the passing of red envelopes.

We attempted to purchase a cell phone for me yesterday evening. There are two mobile networks in Singapore - Singtel and StarHub. Nick has signed with StarHub. In order to purchase a mobile phone, one must be an employed resident of Singapore or have a dependent pass connected to an employee. They do not issue phones to dependents on the weekends. Nick and I made the long trek out to the outer limits of Singapore to a mall with a large StarHub store. It took me about an hour by metro and then another 10 minutes to the mall by taxi. I needed to tack on another half an hour to find the StarHub store in the morass of shops and restaurants. There were lots of people waiting to conduct some sort of mobile phone business. There was the ubiquitous display of perhaps twenty or so  phones  from different manufacturers, attached to the display tables. There was the briefest of descriptions and the price. We approached the desk of the information clerk:

"Do you have any product information on the phones for sale?" 

Clerk: "Do you want a contract?"

Me: "Yes, eventually, but I would like to compare the phones before I buy"

Clerk: " You want a contract? You want to buy a phone without a contract? Do you have a dependent letter?"

Me: "I want to get a contract and a phone, but I need to know what I am buying"

Clerk: "To get product information about the phones requires a technician to help you. We don't have them."

Hmm, O.K. off to get a cup of tea and do a little research. After we settle on a phone, we return to StarHub and Nick gets a number. Once we are called, Nick is told that his length of stay in Singapore is under 6 months and he needs a letter certifying that he will be in Singapore greater than 6 months in order to purchase a phone for me. This is Singapore. Have a nice day.

 

There is a mix of cultures and it is wonderful to see the variety of dress indicating that - Indian, Pakastani, Malay, Western. I think I have only seen one burka, but I see lots of women with their heads covered in hoods/wraps. Their faces are beautiful. I think they are Malay. Religious tolerance is the law here as well as a celebration of diversity however there is an economic stratification here which is tied to religion and I have not quite figured it out. I have not yet seen a homeless person yet and it makes me think...

 

Week 3. Am I adjusting?

In my last post, I was stranded without a cell phone. Two days later, Nick and I tried again. This time with success although it took an hour and a half. The upside of waiting is that I developed an interest in the Chinese version of that well known-art form, the  telenovela. They are every bit as dramatic, anachronistic and historically wacky as any telenovela Mexico can throw down and apparently they are somewhat of a craze. After the success of getting the phone, we were feeling cocky and decided to try our hand at putting me on Nick's bank account. Two bank employees perused our passports, paperwork etc. and then handed them back to us and officiously declared that it could not be done because I don't yet have my dependent pass. This was going to pose a bit of a problem since Nick was leaving the country for two weeks and I needed access to cash. As Nick was getting apoplectic, and by that I mean raising his voice just slightly, and the security guard standing behind him at the door, was moving into position, gently patting his billy club,  he called his admin Serene and passed the phone to the two lovely ladies. Serene who speaks 11 or 12 Chinese dialects, Malay, and English. Serene who scored by getting us onto the 8th floor, apartment #8 (LUCKY), Serene who is coveted by many at NUS just as a wolf covets a steak and who Nick was forewarned by his predecessor is a treasure to hold onto by any means necessary, did her magic. Shortly after a conversation with Serene, the two nice women reversed themselves, the security guard stopped patting his billy club and I was added to the account.

After a day of bureaucratic maneuvering, the next day I believed I'd earned a little pampering. Nick has been going to a place a short walk from our flat called the Javanese Massage Hut. He loves it. He has a discount card. No problem. I disrobed as I was told, carefully placing my neatly folded clothes on top of the little keyed box into which  I placed my wallet, and onto which was tacked notification warning for men to "not embarrass themselves" by asking for specialties. I didn't know what to make of the small basket sitting on the table with little black things wrapped up in rubber bands. Having no clue, I moved the basket and lay on the table. My masseuse, a solid, dark skinned young woman with stubby hands, entered the room and gave a little shriek.
What?! What? What did I do? 
You are not wearing underwear.
But I was told to take everything off.
Yes, but you need to put on the disposable underwear (points to the basket).
O.K.  I'm so sorry...
As best I could, I struggled to put on the black paper panties created for the lithe, Asian figured woman.

My masseuse entered and thus commenced a massage like no other - Essentially she approached me as though I was a balance beam in the upcoming Olympics. Or maybe she saw me as her opponent in an unusual wrestling match. She jumped on me and landed on all fours (9.1; 8.2; 8:4 ). I felt like she was doing a front walkover, and then was landing jumps on my back. Was that a pirouette? She slapped, beat, dug her elbows, and knees, not to mention those stubby fingers into various parts of my body,  along with slathering me in large doses of oil.  At one point she asked if the pressure was o.k. and I managed to squeak out that it could be a little less, please. She proceeded to pull on my fingers and toes causing each digit to emit a loud "snap!" An hour and a half later I was drinking ginger tea and wondered why this was good for me. I'm still a little bruised, but am open to try again.

Over the past week, I've had a breakthrough with understanding Singlish - Singaporean English-la. I felt so isolated because I really couldn't understand. The English is so heavily accented and spoken so quickly. I was struck that even the American English in Singapore is often heavily accented given the fact that many of the American expats work for oil companies and are from the South. So, English takes on a whole new dimension. Singlish, Aussie, British, American. Gratefully, my brain is adjusting and within the last few days, I've been able to understand better- even the American southerners!

I've learned much more about Singapore over the past week from the best historians Singapore has to offer - the cabbies. Although they love Singapore, they tell me it is difficult for the average Singaporean to make a living. Maybe that's universal amongst cabbies. I have not seen a homeless person to my knowledge, but my teachers tell me they are here. There is a lot of love and nationalism for this country, yet there is a palpable awareness of the problems that are here. Most are appreciative of the assurances of food, education and safety. Other aspects of a small country in a changing world are worrisome.

One of my drivers was particularly engaging. His children are grown and studying at polytechnics. To my surprise, they were all in the arts including cooking. Then, he revealed that he had tried to make it as sculptor until the demands of supporting a family won. Sadly, he has no time to make art. He dropped me off at my next destination - the one afro hair salon in Singapore! Hallelujah!! Landing at Flojumar was an unexpected treat in many ways. In addition to connecting with people who "knew" my hair, I was able to meet  a client who is an up and coming, prize winning  painter-  www.melaniemccollinwalker.com. It was a day of constant references to the art scene here.

I have to add one more story about cabbies; Harry made the rugby team (go Harry!) which requires an early morning practice before classes start. He takes a cab to practice/school on that morning at around 5:30 am. I received a text yesterday morning from the cabbie telling me that not only is Harry a polite young man, but that he accidentally shorted Harry and wanted to return the change. He's mailing me the change! Seriously.

I am happy that although Nick is not here, Harry and I are surviving. Harry comes out of his room more and the surliness has receded somewhat.  I've even purchased plants for the terrace.  Nick will spend Thanksgiving with Frannie in Philadelphia and Harry and I will spend it together. It will be a departure from our usual family gathering, but in some ways, we will be extending ourselves to a global family... at the Marriott.